Love

Does loving (eros, agape, and/or philia) someone presuppose having respect for them? Or is there some way we can make sense of the claim, "I love X, but I do not respect X" or "I love X, but I am not compelled to act in a respectful way toward X"?

Comments

Of course we can "make sense" of the claim that xLy yet -xRy. Iunderstand the claim or the sentence perfectly well. The moreinteresting way to phrase the question is the first: does xLypresuppose xRy, or is xRy a necessary condition of (necessary for) xLy,such that -xRy entails -xLy or that {xLy & -xRy} is acontradiction. Off the top of my head (a hunch), I would say that theanswers are: eros, NO; agape, NO; philia, YES. My reasons? Erosis, or can be, a sexual or desiring type of love, and I can imaginethat xDy [x sexually desires y, or x is erotically entranced by y, andso forth] yet -xRy. My guess is that many cases of xDy do involve xRy,but I do not think this must be true. Consider [from another post onlove] the view of W. Newton-Smith, who argues that love (in this sense;he doesn't mean agape or philia) is composed of:

1. A knows B (or at least knows something of B)

2. A cares (is concerned) about B; A likes B

3. A respects B; A is attracted to B; A feels affection for B

4. A is committed to B; A wishes to see B's welfare promoted.

Newton-Smithsays that not all these items are necessary, in that some items mightbe missing yet xLy is still true. Love, he says, "involves thesatisfaction of [these items] . . . to an . . . unspecified degree."The items are only "g-necessary," where g = "generally." SoNewton-Smith thinks that love of this sort generally involves respect,but need not. Note that some religious thinkers (and others, e.g.,Immanuel Kant) would say that xDy is incompatible with xLy.

More to follow, on agape and philia.Stay tuned. Just to complicate matters: just as the question "does loverequire respect?" depends on what we mean by "love" (e.g., eros, agape, philia, and so forth), it also depends, of course, on what we mean by "respect." That can vary as well.

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