Love

Is it possible to love and resent someone (perhaps, your father) at the same time? If the resentment for someone comes from witnessing them mistreat someone else (perhaps, your mother), can the love for someone you're related to (your father) balance it out just based on the faact that you are biologically related and share some history?

Comments

That is an interesting question. 'Love' is a tricky word. It appears to mean various different things that are akin in complex ways. Think of paradigm cases of romantic love, love of a parent for their child, platonic love between friends. It seems to me there is more than one reasonable use of 'love' in which it would be right to say 'One can love and resent someone at the same time'. So, for example, take the case of the child whose father mistreats her mother. The child could certainly care very deeply for the father, be extremely distressed by his anguish and, in the event of his death, be disposed to grieve deeply and miss him for the rest of her life. In such a case, the love would almost certainly be marred by the resentment. But not destroyed. If that is right, then it leaves us with the question: is there another good sense of 'love' in which it would right to say 'One can't love and resent someone at the same time - that wouldn't be *real* love'. I am not sure I know he answer to that.

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