Is there a term for the logical fallacy that other people have it worse, so you should be happy? Example: I fall down a staircase, breaking my leg. The next day I go into work, and someone (inevitably) says "Phfeh! That's not bad! Let me tell you about the time I fell down the stairs!" I suppose this also covers the 'third world problems' saying. "You didn't get your last paycheck? Phfeh! First world problems. In Isreal they are shooting at each other!"

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Too often people offer sympathy in ways that make themselves feel better at the expense of the target of their ostensible kindness. To tell someone who is suffering "That's not so bad -- I've had it much worse" reassures the speaker about his or her own fortitude in the face of misfortune, but it displays gross insensitivity to the plight of the person suffering in the here and now (even if the speaker is right about their respective degrees of suffering). In saying that the victim's suffering is less than the victim thinks it is, the ostensible sympathizer withholds a full acknowledgement of that suffering. (Contrast that insensitive remark with something like: "I can imagine the pain you are in. I remember how much it hurt when I broke my leg.")

In some situations, however, a remark like "Other people have it much worse than you" might be appropriate. If your friend is complaining excessively about not receiving a promotion that she wanted, it might be appropriate to remind her that, well, she does still have a job, that other people are less fortunate than she is, etc. It might be hard to convey this message with tact and in such a way that your friend will receive it in the right spirit, but the point of such a message would be to guide your friend to a proper assessment of the harm she has suffered. And such an assessment does require ranking the harm in the grand scheme of things. The result should be that your friend becomes less upset over her missed opportunity.

There is obviously something wrong with the argument, "You are suffering to degree S1. Other people are suffering to a degree S2 that is greater than S1. Therefore, you are suffering (or you should be suffering) less than S1." I don't know of a specific name for this fallacy, but we might lump it under the heading of ignoratio elenchi, or missing the point. But there is a related argument that I find OK: "You judge that a loss is of degree L1. But when you take a more global view of your life and the place of your loss in the wider world, you can see that the loss is really of degree L2, which is less than L1." I don't think that thinking of a loss in a wider context can or should make it go away. (It would be wrong to try to make your friend feel that her missed promotion was no loss at all.) But such reflection can take the sting away from a personal loss when the person is question is grieving too much.

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