Ethics

I'm certain that if we could go back in time and undo mistakes, our lives wouldn't be any better. But I can't figure out why this is so. Why then are mistakes so hard to live with if undoing them doesn't make things any better?

Comments

Your question takes off from your certainty that if we could go back in time and undo our mistakes our lives wouldn't be "any better." I'm asking you to critically reflect on that certainty.

Let me ask you a question: are you certain that if we could go back in time and undo our mistake that our lives would be pretty much the same (i.e. we don't have much control over the way things turn out) or is it that you think that our lives would be different but no better (e.g. if we undo one mistake only to make another)?

Whichever you think, can you agree that these are empirical claims, that is, claims that can be tested (in empirical psychology, for example, we can see whether decisions make a difference, and if so, what kind of difference). It may be that in some areas of life we have little control, in some areas of life we have control but can't make things better, and in some areas (quite significant areas, in my knowledge and experience) we have control and can make things better.

Mistakes are hard to live with--even harder to live with when they can't be undone. An interesting accessible book to read about this is Charles Bosk's "Forgive and Remember" which is an ethnographic study of surgeons in training (who make mistakes that sometimes result in terrible consequences, but who find the resources to continue). Surgeons would love to turn the clock back and fix their mistakes! (And in at least some of the cases, they would have better results.)

Sometimes mistakes can be undone (it just takes some swallowing of pride). It's often worth it.

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