I'm 13 years old and I honestly don't know what to believe and it is literally driving me crazy. My mum says to stop thinking and relax but the problem is I can't, it's as if I stop thinking I'll, well, die. Knowledge is a part of me and I can't bear to let it go but I'm not sure whether there is a God and I think the only reason I ever believed is because I was afraid of what would happen to me after life. I don't fear death anymore but I hope that you will give me some answers and if Atheism is the answer.

Comments

I have a couple of comments.

First, let me commend you for your sincere interest in an important topic.

Second, beliefs that you are "scared into" are unlikely to last long-term. You are wise to be skeptical of such a process.

Third, you don't need to 'stop thinking', but your mom is correct that you should relax. This is not an issue that you are likely to get a quick resolution on.

Fourth, now for the really bad news. There is nothing resembling a consensus among philosophers on this issue. Many have thought God exists and it can be proven. Others have thought that the evidence is inconclusive, but that we should believe in God for either moral reasons (Immanuel Kant) or for prudential reasons (Blaise Pascal). Still others have thought that the evidence was inconclusive, so that we shouldn't believe. Yet, others have thought there was weight of evidence against belief in God. And finally, others have thought that all claims about God were inherently absurd.

I'd encourage you to take things slowly and talk to your friends, family, and religious leaders on the topic. You don't need to come to a final decision on one of the great philosophical debates at the age of 13. Eventually, I'd encourage you to read some great philosophers on this topic including Hume's Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion & Mackie's the Miracle of Theism (both against belief in God) and Richard Swinburne's The Existence of God & There is a God by Anthony Flew (both in favor of belief). However, I find most popular treatments of the issue to be pretty shallow.

For my part, I find that probabilistic versions of Aquinas's second argument for God's existence and Leibniz's cosmological argument are fairly convincing in favor of belief (both of which can be found via a google search).

I hope this helps.

You say: "if I stop thinking I'll, well, die"? This calls to mind that very famous idea from Descartes, "I think, therefore I am." What he means is that as long as I'm thinking, I must exist. What seems to worry you is the opposite--"If I don't think, I won't exist." But here's a very reassuring thing about Descartes' view. It doesn't matter what you think about. You can think about the existence of God or going swimming or eating ice cream, and the fact that you are thinking means you exist. In fact, what Descartes means by thinking is everything that goes on in your mind. So you can just enjoy the swimming and the ice cream, and that suffices for you to exist. In a relevant sense we even keep thinking in our sleep. Our minds are active. So closing your eyes at the end of the day isn't even anything to worry about.

Of course, some things urgently need to be thought about. And maybe it seems to you as though the question of God is really urgent. But is that so? If there is an all-good supreme being, I don't think it makes sense to think of him as punishing you for being an atheist or an agnostic, or rewarding you for being a theist. In each case, you come by your beliefs honestly, so what's to punish or reward? There's no reason to think your welfare turns on getting this sorted out. All the more reason to let yourself think about swimming and ice cream...and about religion only as much as you enjoy doing so.

If you want to try something rather more accessible than the heavy-duty books that Eric Silverman suggests, then try Richard Dawkins The God Delusion. Sure, it's shallow in places, and a bit crass in others, but it will certainly be an enjoyable read that gets you thinking hard.

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