Ethics

My friend and I were debating about what is considered cheating and what would simply be considered unethical behavior. Suppose two people (call them A and B) were in a weight loss competition. Every Monday the two of them would weigh-in, and the first person to reach the target weight goal would win the contest. Let's assume that this is a friendly competition and the real objective for both participants was weight loss. Both of us agreed that the following would clearly be cheating: a) Prior to weigh-in, A alters the mechanics of the scale resulting in a win for himself. b) A slips some weight-gain contents into B's food without anyone knowing. And, we both agreed that the following would not be cheating: c) A tells B that he has been eating a lot of fatty foods and has not been exercising lately. A has actually been eating healthy meals and also has been hitting the gym daily. The lie was told with the intention of lowering the sense of urgency and reduce the effort put forth by B. Now, here is where we had a disagreement. What if A invites B to get some fat-free coffee, but earlier in the day, A paid off the coffee barista so that B's "fat-free" coffee would actually include real creme and not skim milk? B accepts A's invitation, but he knows full well that they are in the middle of a competition. Would this be cheating on A's part, or would this merely constitute unethical behavior? How is this different than bluffing in poker or hustling someone in pool via sandbagging? Are b) and c) from above clearly different?

Recently, my stepsons' mother told my husband and me that her husband has been hurting her children (my stepsons). The last incident (the worst, she said) involved him "spanking" the youngest hard enough to leave a long bruise and picking them both up by the head, shaking them and screaming into their faces. He has a long history with CPS and I have spoken with his ex-wife who believes he has been molesting her daughter, as well as abusing her daughter and son (the reason she divorced him). The boys' mother seemed very concerned at first, using terms like "It's a deal-breaker. He can't beat my kids," but has changed her tune to "God made marriage first and children second, so I have to stand by my husband. Children leave you, a spouse is forever." My husband and I have contacted CPS and all have been interviewed. CPS said that they have determined abuse has taken place, but it doesn't look like they are going to do much about it. All that has been done so far is the boys' mother and stepfather have signed a contract stating that their stepfather is not allowed to be alone with the boys, discipline the boys (verbally or physically) and that their mother is not allowed to discipline them physically. The boys are already staying with their mother and stepfather 50% of the time. Since the contract was signed, the children have said that their stepfather has started to kick and hit the dogs (stating that they are animals, so it doesn't hurt them). My husband seems relieved that the drama is over and doesn't want to take any further action. I'm afraid he is in denial. As a concerned stepparent, do I have an obligation to do more than has been done regardless of my husband's preference to let it go? I believe that the boys are in danger of being injured or worse. Would it be more harmful to them to try to remove their stepfather from their lives, or to hope that he can learn (at age 45) to control his temper?

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