Why should we accept compliments as the truth but accept insults as lies?
Self-help books, quotes on the Internet, and average people in everyday life, often try to comfort those who have been severely insulted by saything things like: "They're just saying that because they're jealous," "They're just trying to bring you down because they're unhappy with their lives," "They don't know what they're talking about," and my favorite, "What people say about you says more about who they are than who you are." These sort of statements invalidate the insult, giving the insulted person no real reason to be upset.
However, if all that is true, what about all the times that we have been complimented? They could very well falsely be trying to "bring you up" for whatever reason, it's still possible they don't know what they're talking about, and if it says more about them than it does about you, then good for them for being a "good person," but it really has nothing to do with you.
But this isn't what we're...
This is a very interesting question! The social practices of complimenting and criticising are both extremely important - and of course philosophically rich (for instance, they invite both ethical and epistemological reflection). There is - in my view - no simple answer to the question of whether we ought to accept every compliment offered to us, for three reasons. First, sometimes the compliment will be false - one in fact lacks the virtue that the compliment attributes to one - and sometimes the compliment will be unacceptably exaggerated - "I'm good, yes, but not that good!" - and sometimes the compliment will entail insulting or demeaning other people - " Wow, you're way smarter than these other people!" Second, sometimes one might want to resist a compliment because one has worries about or objections to the complimenter. For instance, a friend of mine was recently praised by a member of a nationalistic political party for their tenacity and conviction - this was during a debate about...
- Log in to post comments