Question Is it wrong to feel happy because someone, who I have no feeling for, love me? And is it wrong to enjoy the good things, like his gifts and his caring, and crave for more, when I have no intention in having any relationship with him? In fact, I love someone else.

Accepted:
July 12, 2012

Comments

Let's start with a distinction between your feelings and your actions. I might be flattered that someone is in love with me; the feeling isn't wrong by itself. But if I lead the person on when I don't feel the same way about them, that's another matter.

So the question is: are you taking advantage of him? There are a couple of obvious things to ask. If the tables were turned, how would you feel about what was going on? And as things actually stand, how do you think he'd react if he found out how you really feel?

That second question is the really important one. If you suspect he'd be unhappy that you're accepting his gifts and attentions even though you don't love him and love someone else, then it's pretty obvious: you're using him as a means to your own ends. That's wrong.

Of course there's another possibility: the fact that you enjoy not just his gifts but also his attention and care could mean that there's a difference between the way you say you feel about him (even to yourself) and how you really feel. Since we're quite capable of fooling ourselves about this sort of thing, that's a possibility worth taking seriously.

Question Is it wrong to feel happy because someone, who I have no feeling for, love me? And is it wrong to enjoy the good things, like his gifts and his caring, and crave for more, when I have no intention in having any relationship with him? In fact, I love someone else. Accepted:July 12, 2012

Question Is it wrong to feel happy because someone, who I have no feeling for, love me? And is it wrong to enjoy the good things, like his gifts and his caring, and crave for more, when I have no intention in having any relationship with him? In fact, I love someone else.

Accepted:
July 12, 2012