Topics Feminism

Question I would like to ask if you feel it is contradictionary for chivalry to exist in a world where women push for equality. From a logical point of view a woman is perfectly capable of opening a door for herself and yet it is ingrained into society that men should open doors for women, the explanation for this being that it is polite, shows manners and shows you are a "gentleman". However I feel it is quite the opposite, if anything it promotes the idea that a woman is feeble and incapable of performing something as simple as opening a door. If a person had difficulty or was incapable of opening a door since I am performing for that person, what that person is incapable of. This makes sense. An even more extreme example is the romanticized idea of the man dying for the woman. If both men and women are equal shouldn't it really be every person for themselves in such a situation? Yet a man would be considered "weak" for allowing a woman to die when he could have saved her by sacrificing his own life in place of hers. I agree with the idea of a world where men and women are equal. Equal so far as no person can stop a person from either sex from doing something or thinking a certain way if they please. Men cannot physically have children however this is a genetic limitation, not a social one or one brought on by a member of the opposite sex. I feel as though society has a very warped sense of what equality truly is. If a woman asks to be equal to her male counterpart yet expects the man perform chivalrous deeds for no other reason other than "it is gentlemanly", then that is not equality it's female supremicist ideology.

Accepted:
December 2, 2011

Comments

I think that you are right--in age of gender equality, opening doors for women, paying for them on dates, and definitely dying for them, seem to make little sense. Why, then, do these behaviors persist? In part, they persist because many people do not fully believe in gender equality. In addition, I think that some people just find it difficult to change their behavior for a variety of reasons, even when they believe in gender equality. My husband, for example, feels more well-mannered when he opens the door for a woman, and he likes that feeling (he was an Eagle Scout). (He prefers to be thought of as a little bit traditional than as a little bit inconsiderate.) As long as we treat women and men differently, gender equality will be a struggle. I ask my husband not to open doors for me--in practice taking turns opening doors seems to work best. We can all be more considerate of each other.