Topics Philosophy

Question I enjoy philosophy very much though doing it has caused me a good deal of suffering. The problem is, is that I can no longer relate to people the way I used to. I avoid discussions with people in my ordinary day-to-day life because it often can't be conducted in the kind of systematic and sensitive way that characterizes most philosophical discourse and that I find myself accustomed to. It has also caused other people to not be able to relate to me as well. I was strange before though now I fear it is unforgivably so. (It also doesn't help that doing philosophy (for me at least) requires long bouts of solitude.) How should I deal with this horribly lonely feeling of detachment?

Accepted:
July 5, 2011

Comments

There may be times when solitary philosophical reflection is healthy and vital. In totalitarian societies it can be dangerous to practice philosophy in public and maybe some thinkers (perhaps most famously Montaigne) appear to do their best thinking alone, but the model of philosophy we have from Socrates and Plato and others is one that encourages dialogue and community (even if Socrates was executed by his beloved or not always so beloved Athens!). I would encourage you to recall that "philosophy ' literally means the love of wisdom and that wisdom involves knowing WHEN and HOW to reflect and with whom... Of course I have no way of knowing this, but you might consider whether your love of philosophy as a practice is leading you to be overly rigorous or contentious or to promote estrangement from friends and others in your day-to-day life. You might follow the example of some great philosophers like Hume and Kant who were (to offer an under statement) highly critical and (in some respects) deeply skeptical of commonplace convictions but they were also highly social and (I believe) could be quite charming at dinner parties. Descartes, too. You might find it helpful to read biographies of great philosophers (you could start with a classic like A.E. Taylor on Plato) to see how philosophers have handled friendships and culture.

I'd also add this to my co-panelist's good advice. But don't tell anyone I said so.

(Sh!) A lot of what we philosophers spend our time thinking about isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. And...

(Sh!) Being a wise person and being a good philosopher aren't the same thing. If somehow I were forced to choose between being a good philosopher and being a wise person, I'd pick wisdom. (May well be that in this universe I don't quite manage to be either, but we're talking "in principle" here.)

Whether you've got the temperament to be a Hume- or Kant-like social butterfly is partly a matter of constitutional luck. But there's a lot to be said for finding ways to get out of your own head. Go to an art museum. Listen to some music (make sure you put some good rock and roll on the playlist.) Walk in the woods. Treat yourself to a meal with a friend or two at an interesting restaurant. Take up a hobby that makes you work on some sort of physical skill. (Could be a sport, but could be knitting. Or cabinet making. Or playing the banjo.) Smile at people when you pass them on the street. Find the occasional way to be helpful to someone.

By all means, do philosophy. If you love it and you're good at it, more power to you. But by your own account, it sounds as though you've let it take up too much space in the garden. That old admonition about the roses and their aroma may be a cliché, but that doesn't mean it isn't good advice.