Topics Ethics

Question My aunt once complained about how the dumb the janitor of my high school was. He didn't seem very bright to me either. But, why do people think it's okay to put others down just because they are dumb? I am warranted in having less respect for my aunt for being that way or is it hypocritical to be judgmental to people who are judgmental?

Accepted:
June 9, 2011

Comments

Great questions! First, I suggest that a person who feels compelled to use the term "dumb" to describe others may be doing so out of their own insecurity (why feel the need to put others down, unless perhaps to feel superior?), but more importantly using the term "dumb" in that way seems pretty insulting just by itself. Saying someone does not seem very bright is much better (I think) than calling someone dumb or stupid or an idiot or (even) slow. So, to begin to get to your last question, I suggest you might want to avoid thinking or saying that your aunt is dumb for thinking others are dumb! (This would involve simply trading insults.) But I think you might well be warranted in not respecting her being so judgmental, and this can be done while still respecting her as a person and as your aunt. I think there is a difference between making a judgment and being judgmental; the latter seems to involve excessive blaming or being condescending.

Going out on a limb, I wonder if there is an indirect way to convey to your aunt that such condescension is unhelpful? Modestly, one can simply not participate in such insults, but perhaps more positively one might tell her of a case (if true) of when you were thought of as dumb (perhaps quite mistakenly) and this was hurtful. Or, as in my case, I have done some dumb things I am not proud of, and if she were my aunt, I might be able to a conversation that begins: "Dearest Auntie! You think the janitor is dumb? Good heavens! He is a lot brighter than me! Why just the other day, I did the most dumb thing you can imagine. I wound up.........." Maybe this might lead your aunt to think you are both dumb, but there is a slight chance of a change of heart. Or at least a chance of getting a laugh rather than a snear.