Topics Emotion

Question Can one be happy, and sad at the same time, where the definition of happiness leans more towards a state of content, rather than joy, and sadness defined more as frustration (helplessness). For example, if one is currently experiencing a state of frustration, of helplessness, to a strong degree (perhaps crying)- and than, at the exact same moment experiencing happiness, or a feeling of content with life. Is this not paradoxical or contradictory? I must say that I have myself have experienced this. I suppose I would describe it as a state of currently being discontent with the specific situation one is in, but content with the general direction their life is going. But to experience the emotions at the exact same moment (NOT to feel frustrated, and after rationalizing their feelings, feel content).

Accepted:
April 6, 2011

Comments

Your question is an interesting one. It's puzzling at first to imagine experiencing two very different, apparently conflicting momentary feelings at the same time. For example: it's hard to know what we would make of someone who claimed to be experiencing a feeling of great calm and extreme anxiety both at the same time. I say "hard" advisedly, however, rather than "impossible." Feeling-states can be quite complicated, and although we can't experience literally contradictory states at the same time (because contradictions can't be true), it might well take near-paradoxical language to convey what some feeling states are like.

In any case, something like this is almost certainly part of the story. We're clearly capable of experiencing complex combinations of feeling tone. For example: you've probably had the experience of really enjoying a conversation while at the same time being aware that you have a mild but unpleasant backache. One might be foreground, so to speak, and the other background. That's probably no more or less odd than feeling frustrated that one's work is going badly and yet being able to keep in awareness a sense that overall things are going well.

There's a related but somewhat different way to come at the problem. The word "happiness" is sometimes used to mean a certain specific feeling, but that's not the only way to think of it. We can also think of happiness as a more general, less momentary state -- in something like the way you suggest yourself. Life may be going well overall. You may be appropriately challenged, have strong relationships, be invested in your work and your projects, but still be able to experience passing ups and downs. There is no mystery in saying that one is leading a happy life or that overall things are going well, and yet that one is sad today because a friend experienced a setback, for instance. On the contrary, if happiness includes emotional health, then this possibility is inevitable.

So two approaches here. One is the one you allude to: feeling states can be complicated, and can sometimes contain parts, so to speak, with different valences. But the other is to distinguish between the momentary feeling of happiness and the larger, more stable state of well-being. The second can be quite real -- and one can know that it's quite real -- even in moments where the first is absent. Indeed, that sounds a lot like part of the flow of a normal life.