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Emotion
Ethics

Can you be blamed for not loving someone? For instance, it's not uncommon for children to accuse their parents of not loving them--and here, the claim is not simply that the parents didn't act appropriately (though this is typically part of the problem), but that they don't possess actual feelings of love or affection or care. While it's easy to appreciate the force of complaints like this, I wonder whether it's ultimately impossible to choose who you love, so that one cannot be blamed for failing to love another.
Accepted:
September 15, 2010

Comments

Oliver Leaman
September 16, 2010 (changed September 16, 2010) Permalink

I think you are right, we cannot be forced to love someone and so cannot be blamed for not doing so. On the other hand, love is not necessarily a sudden emotion but can be acquired over time and both strengthen and weaken. So one might be justly blamed for not having taken the necessary steps to develop the appropriate emotion for someone, especially a child or spouse.

There are some children who cannot be loved even (or especially) by their parents, but those children would at least have the right to demand that the parents try!

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