Question Do the members of a married couple with children have a moral obligation, not (just) to each other, but to their children, to not cheat on each other?

Accepted:
November 7, 2009

Comments

Parents certainly bear many moral obligations to their children, including obligations related to how the parents interact with each other. That said, I don't think that monogamy is morally required of married parents or other parents who live together in a sexual relationship.

To the extent that an extramarital sexual relationship could be carried out entirely separate from the family -- and from family responsibilities -- it might be simply irrelevant to parenting. Perhaps many individuals do not have the skills or are not in a situation where to make that separation possible, but some parents may have those skills or be in that situation.

Likewise, I suspect there are parents in loving relationships, and who are effective parents, have chosen to reject monogamy and who have also learned how to construct a good family life for themselves and for their children. For more on this, the discussion by the self-described "kinky" communities.

So, monogamy may be a useful practice for many families, but I do not think this practice is morally obligated for couples with children because it seems possible for healthy families and effective parents to reject embrace alternative sexual values and practices.

I'm guessing what the questioner is wondering is roughly this-- "Considering the way that infidelity tends to increase the probability of divorce and considering the known ill effects of divorce on children, do couples have a duty not just to each other, but also to their children, to be faithful?" My answer to that question is: yes.

Then there's the question whether people should be faithful even if they've redefined marriage so that infidelity is truly a non-issue (if such people exist). And there's also the question whether we have a duty to children not to redefine marriage that way. No, and no, to those two questions. But if the question is about people in ordinary marriages, I'll go for the idea that infidelity puts children in jeopardy, so the obligation to refrain is partly to one's children.

Question Do the members of a married couple with children have a moral obligation, not (just) to each other, but to their children, to not cheat on each other? Accepted:November 7, 2009

Question Do the members of a married couple with children have a moral obligation, not (just) to each other, but to their children, to not cheat on each other?

Accepted:
November 7, 2009