Question At this point I am so familiar with a) The human propensity for religious belief b) The history and basis of the world's major religious belief systems and c) The apathetic functioning of the universe, that intellectually I am unable to adopt the anthropocentric vision of the universe as presented by the monotheistic traditions. However, watching my muslim friend pray and fast during this month of Ramadan, I am struck by how much peace, happiness and purpose her beliefs bring her and contrast it with the emptiness and meaninglessness which I feel. The fissure between our worldviews is a constant source of alienation between us. 1) Would it be ethical for me to attempt to persuade her of the veracity of atheism (regardless of whether or not she is won over to this worldview), despite my knowledge that this may adversely effect her positivity about life? 2) Failing this, should I try to swallow the blue pill of theism and attempt -emotionally rather than intellectually- to force myself into believing it's true? (by adopting the rituals, etc. as proposed by Pascal.)

Accepted:
September 10, 2009

Comments

My Atheist Friend,

I advise pursuing other options because the two you outlined don't seem to reflect your genuine values. Either one wouldn't really be true to you.

I say this because I suspect option 1 violates your sense of ethics - either because you are committed to your friend's right to religious freedom or because you don't want to cause her a depression. (In addition, I predict option 1 will have a low success rate, if 'success' is measured in talking her out of her faith.) Option 2 violates your sense of yourself and your most deeply held beliefs. You would literally be going through the motions. There is nothing wrong with that, and many take comfort in ritual, but I think it might feel like more of a sham for a true atheist.

<So I advise option 3: explore existential atheism, which is the philosophical school most aligned with the views you have described. Jean-Paul Sartre is a wonderful author who advances this view. Sartre's philosophy is that once we realize that the universe is indifferent to our existence we are free to become whomever we please. Many existentialist atheists don't feel emptiness at all, but hopeful optimism.

Caution: Sartre's philosophy does not advertise itself well. You'll find his vocabulary seems downright sour: abandonment, forlornness, nausea, and the like. Chalk this up to poor marketing on his part. Freedom can feel, well, freeing!

Good luck!

You seem to want to get closer to your friend by eliminating the difference between your beliefs, but there are other ways to get closer. It sounds like you are attracted to the ritual aspects of her religion. So perhaps you could ask your friend if you can join in celebrating Ramadan in some way. I used to enjoy going to midnight mass with a Catholic friend, many years ago. I enjoy having a Passover seder, though I am an atheist, and friends of mine who are Christian also enjoy the experience. I don't think these things are necessarily a sham for non-believers; they simply don't have exactly the same meaning that they do for believers.

Perhaps your friend can also take an interest in your point of view. You might explain to her why you don't believe in God, if she's interested, but I see no reason for you to try to persuade her. While I do think having true beliefs is a good thing, and I do think, like you, that there is no deity, there are other competing values here. It's good that your friend is happy, that she has close ties with her family and her community. It would be annoyingly paternalistic of you to try to save her from her theism, just as it would be annoyingly paternalistic of her to try to instill religious belief in you. It would be different if you could see clear-cut harm coming from her belief, or she could see the same coming from your disbelief, but that's not the case, as you describe the situation.

Since you speak of "emptiness and meaninglessness" and seem to feel some attraction to religious ritual, it might be an idea to visit a Unitarian church. There you'd meet plenty of non-believers, but also hear lots of meaning-making. If organized religion isn't for you, there is also plenty to read. A good book I use to teach a course on "the meaning of life" is here.