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Ethics

All things being equal, should I care for my brother more than a stranger?
Accepted:
April 13, 2009

Comments

Lisa Cassidy
April 16, 2009 (changed April 16, 2009) Permalink


Yes. The reason is that when it comes to human relationships, "all things" are never equal. I mean that we are not equally positioned to strangers and siblings. We have more connection to our siblings than to strangers. Notice this does not mean we automatically have satisfying relationships with our siblings, mothers, stepsons, in-laws, and other relatives. It means just that we are more closely connected to them. In the case of siblings, the connection is (for many people) is a double-stranded connection of shared experiences and biology. So if you rescue your sibling before a stranger from a burning building, others would see this choice as reasonable, as emotionally sound, and therefore justified. Even if the stranger died I believe people would console you by saying that they themselves would have made the same choice.

Now, if the connection between siblings is fraught with strife (for example, mutual jealousy and distrust left over from unhappy childhoods) there may be good reason to prefer a stranger over a sibling. Siblings who suffer such acrimony have given each other hundred of reasons over the years to prefer strangers (the boyfriends she stole! the preference mom always had for you! etc.) But notice that if you save the stranger in the burning building scenario, you do so to spite your sibling. Your decision in favor of the stranger is still motivated by your connection to your sibling, although this time not in his or her favor.

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