Question What is forgiveness? If I forgive someone for some misdeed, does that mean they are no longer obligated to correct that deed? Or is forgiveness simply an attitude change, when one chooses not to remain angry? Also when I say "I forgive you", is that a performative speech act? Or is it possible to forgive someone without saying it (or contrarily, to say you forgive someone when not really forgiving them).

Accepted:
December 11, 2008

Comments

The topic of forgiveness has recently received quite a bit of philosophical attention, which means quite a bit of philosophical disagreement as well. In particular: Charles Griswold, Pamela Hieronymi, Jacques Derrida have written in different ways about this topic. There seems to be agreement about the answers to most of your questions, however.

Forgiveness is a change in attitude whereby one no longer holds a grudge or demands remediation from a wrongdoer -- despite continuing to view that person as responsible for their wrongdoing. This is not just a matter of ceasing to be angry; it is a matter of relinquishing the demand for recourse.

A person who is forgiven by someone she has wronged may still be obliged to correct or compensate for her misdeed insofar as she continues to have obligations to herself, to society at large, or to a higher power. On the other hand, insofar as one is forgiven by oneself, one's society, or one's god, these obligations cease.

Forgiveness may or may not be something that is chosen. We sometimes want to forgive and find ourselves unable to do so; and we sometimes find ourselves forgiving despite ourselves.

It is certainly possible to forgive someone without ever saying "I forgive". It is also possible to say "I forgive" without actually forgiving -- if there is not the requisite change of attitude. On the other hand, saying "I forgive you" can sometimes help to effect the change of attitude that is required.