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Question To love and to be loved in return is supposedly one of our basic needs. If this is the case then how come ascetics and spiritual people such as priests, monks, nuns, etc. prefer to live solitary lives - some with little or no human contact - and claim that the lives they are living are fulfilled and in some cases claiming that they have transcended many needs and have reached contentment, realization, etc.?

Accepted:
January 11, 2009

Comments

I have long been fascinated by the desert saints, the extreme ascetics of the 4th century. The biggest "star" among them was Simeon Stylites, who stood alone on a pillar for 30 years, ceaselessly bowing in prayer, and enduring every conceivable deprivation. This struck me as the ultimate in solitary (and miserable) living until I started to wonder how we know so much about him. Then I learned that pilgrims used to throng to Egypt and Syria, where these ascetics lived, seeking inspiration and healing, or just for the spectacle. There's a wonderful bas relief from the year 500 showing a pilgrim on his way up a ladder leaning against Simeon's pillar. So these ascetics were not so completely alone after all. In fact, they were on the receiving end of a great deal of love. Maybe they loved these supplicants back, but clearly they did love their god.

I think in the lives of many people who live a monastic life there are hidden sources of love and affiliation. But then, surely to varying degrees, which isn't surprising. People do vary a lot in their need for human contact. It seems closed-minded to say that everyone needs the same level of connection to others to be fulfilled.