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Is it ethically and morally wrong to have sex with someone other than your husband for procreation purposes (if they are aware of it)? Especially when your husband is sterile and asks/gives you permission to?
Accepted:
July 1, 2008

Comments

David Brink
July 3, 2008 (changed July 3, 2008) Permalink

This is a traditional solution to your problem, one resorted to more often prior to the advent of in vitro fertilization. I'm not sure that there is anything wrong, as such, with having sex with someone other than your husband for purposes of procreation when your husband is sterile and provided all three parties (you, your husband, and the other man) fully understand what you're getting into and fully consent to this arrangement. It's not clear from what you say whether your husband would know the identity of the other man, though I'm assuming he would. Having said this need not be impermissible, there might still be lots of reasons to wonder if it was such a good idea. Any one of the three of you might end up uncomfortable with the idea that you had sex with someone other than your husband, even if it was ostensibly for this limited biological purpose. Moreover, pregnancy doesn't always result from a single act of sex. Are all three of you prepared for multiple sexual episodes if this is necessary? Also, assuming the reproductive sex is successful and yields a child, this arrangement will or could create ongoing links among the three of you and the child. There is, of course, an alternative -- artificial insemination by an anonymous sperm donor. This achieves two things at once -- insemination without sex and anonymity. Many would regard these two conditions as goods. Perhaps you don't, or perhaps you think the costs (medical costs) of securing them are too great. But I would make sure that the three of you had thought through all of these issues and were really fully comfortable with them before proceeding with this more traditional solution.

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