Question I am not here to be boastful or arrogant, but here is the thing: if I walk down the street and see someone "checking-me-out", is it morally wrong for me to feel flattered because of this?

Accepted:
March 12, 2008

Comments

The predicate "morally wrong" seems to require a victim: someone who is morally wronged. This could by an animal or members of future generations. But, in your case, there's no one to whom a wrong is being done.

The same seems true for any and all feelings we might have: Our feelings do not harm others, hence it cannot be morally wrong to feel this or that.

To be sure, it can be wrong in certain circumstances to act on one's feelings, to lie about one's feelings, to conceal or to express one's feelings. But merely having them cannot be morally wrong.

Another argument to the same conclusion would appeal to the premise that we do not choose our feelings, that you cannot avoid feeling flattered at the moment you have this feeling. While this may typically be true, it is also true that we do have the capacity to modify over time the way we feel. Someone who feels hostility toward members of a certain race or religion can make an effort to get to know good people from that race or religion and thereby gradually overcome her feelings. And you could over time -- perhaps by mixing more with people who respect you for your intellect, personality, friendship, sense of humor, or other character traits -- become someone who cares less about being appreciated for her looks.

Would you be a better person -- in a larger sense that goes beyond the moral -- if you had so transformed yourself, if you had reduced that feeling of being flattered by attention to your looks? Probably not. If you derived nearly all of your self-esteem from how others respond to your looks, then there would be room for improvement. But if you like to stay in shape and to dress smartly, and enjoy the reaction of others to your hot looks, I cannot see this as a defect so long as you also like and enjoy many other things besides.

Question I am not here to be boastful or arrogant, but here is the thing: if I walk down the street and see someone "checking-me-out", is it morally wrong for me to feel flattered because of this? Accepted:March 12, 2008

Question I am not here to be boastful or arrogant, but here is the thing: if I walk down the street and see someone "checking-me-out", is it morally wrong for me to feel flattered because of this?

Accepted:
March 12, 2008