Topics Ethics

Question If I lied and told Bob that I was very pleased to see him when I really am indifferent to his existence and couldn't care less if I never saw him for the next two thousand years. My lie made him very happy. Is that as bad a lie as if I lied in an 'ordinary' way, for example lying to my father about why I got home so late or telling my mother I didn't break her favourite vase? What if it didn't make Bob happy, but it just meant that we didn't have an awkward moment since saying that to Bob is what was socially expected of me?

Accepted:
August 28, 2006

Comments

You might enjoy reading Annette Baier's essay, "Why Honesty is a Hard Virtue" in Owen Flanagan and Amelie Rorty (eds) Identity, Character, and Morality which discusses just the issues you raise. There are very complex contextual rules for determining when something counts as a lie. Do adults lie in telling children about Santa Claus and the tooth fairy? Or are they merely story-telling? Social conventions, such as "pleased to meet you" and responding "I'm fine" to an acquaintance's "how are you?" even when things are going really badly and you are very far from fine, do not violate the other’s trust since they are typically not counting on you for a direct and truthful response. You and they know that you are in the realm of conventional exchange, but it is hard to codify exactly how you know this. Returning to your examples, one key to understanding them is to think about their implications for the trust relations between the parties. Are you misleading Bob because, say, he has reason to believe you are not operating in the realm of conventional exchange but are moving towards a friendship? In contrast with conventional exchanges, your parents are counting on your for a direct and truthful reply and if you do not give it, they will have reason to feel betrayed.