Topics Ethics

Question I really love my wife and of course I never want to hurt her, but is it moral to cheat on her if I'm 100% sure that she won't know (and therefore she won't be hurt)?

Accepted:
December 16, 2005

Comments

I'm not sure how one could be "100% sure". Perhaps (perhaps!) thereare some claims about the natural world of which one could beabsolutely certain, like the fact that I was born to parents and nothatched from an egg, but I don't think most claims about the future areones we can be so certain of, certainly not a claim like "My wife willnever discover that I cheated on her."

But if you want to takea case where we can be confident that the person cheated on will neverdiscover, let's imagine that your wife has asked you to promise herthat you will never have sexual relations with another person evenafter she, your wife, has passed away. Now she passes away. Surely wecan be "100% sure" in this case that she will never be hurt by your"cheating" on her. (I'm obviously assuming here that she won't bepained in some afterlife.) Would it be immoral to?

I know somepeople who say it wouldn't be; that thinking so is a habit-inducedillusion. I also know people who would insist that it would be wrong;that talking of right and wrong isn't a shorthand for talking aboutwhat would hurt a person. On the latter view, this would be to getthings backwards: the wrongness of your actions doesn't consist in yourhaving hurt her, but rather the reason your wife would be hurt were sheto discover your infidelity is that she would have discovered that youhad wronged her, and that is what's painful.

Extending Alex's last point, one might say that you would harm your wife were you to cheat on her, whether or not she ever discovered your infidelity. Of course, it wouldn't cause her emotional pain, but one might suppose that she has an interest in your fidelity that is quite independent of her knowledge.

Question I really love my wife and of course I never want to hurt her, but is it moral to cheat on her if I'm 100% sure that she won't know (and therefore she won't be hurt)? Accepted:December 16, 2005

Question I really love my wife and of course I never want to hurt her, but is it moral to cheat on her if I'm 100% sure that she won't know (and therefore she won't be hurt)?

Accepted:
December 16, 2005